Sunday, September 11, 2011

It's All in a Name!

Each time I blog, I promise that I'm going to be better about keeping up with it....why does this never happen? LOL! So a lot has transpired since my last post...I am now 23 + weeks pregnant, can't believe I'm almost at the 6 month marker. We vacationed in Florida and literally found out the baby's sex the day after we returned! In case you missed the grand announcement, we are having another sweet, little boy! I have to admit that there were mixed emotions when we found out...I was sort of hoping for a girl and I know that Josh was too! However, there was also a flood of relief...we already have a boy and I know what to expect...we have clothes, toys etc! So...why was I relieved? Maybe the only reason for me wanting a girl was so I could decorate like mad and have a little doll to dress up? I don't know? I am happy and excited that we will welcome another son! So...what's his name? If you know me, you know that I'm a planner...I like things set well in advance, so of course, I got to work right away on coming up with names.

I was pretty set on the name "Hayden", as a matter of fact, where I was concerned that was his name. However, God had another plan! While, hanging out with my mom one afternoon, we got on the computer and searched for names...we had a big list. As we were researching, Gabriel came over and told us that he had a name for the baby...I disdainfully cocked one ear towards him as I had previously heard his names for the baby...."chocolate", "chicken bok-bok"...you get the picture. You can imagine my shock when he said, "Lucas". Hmmm, we thought...that's not a bad name at all....we searched the name and found that it meant, "bringer of light". How sweet! I wrote it on the list to show Josh, we pondered the names for a few days until I finally became anxious and pinned him down for a name. He said he really liked Lucas...I was still unsure about it...I thought the whole name had too much of a sing-songy rhyme to it. I tucked it away, still thinking about Hayden.

That night I went to bed as usual, what was unusual was how I was woken up at 3 am finding myself in turmoil over the name of our son. All th sudden I found myself in a wrestling match with God over his name..."I'm not sure I like it...it's not what I had in mind," I argued..."What does Gabriel's name mean?" He asked? "Messenger of God," I responded...suddenly everything became crystal clear..."Are you telling me that you spoke through my child and named my son?" ... the verse "A little child shall lead them... Is 11:6"...whoa! I began to cry and thank God for naming my son and confirming to me that He had given us this name and this gift of life, our bringer of light!!

See, I couldn't understand why each time we asked Gabriel what his name for the baby was, he looked at us strangely and didn't know...the reason was because he hadn't come up with the name, God had!

We are so excited to welcome this child, to see the son that God, the Father named! I know some people will think we're a little crazy...we know and we believe!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

New Clothes!!

So, according to the doc, I am 9 weeks along. According to my calculations, I'm more like 11-12. Based on the half-volleyball that has popped up over the last couple days, I sure am hoping that my calculations are more accurate!! My shorts and jeans are becoming tight so I went upstairs to look through my maternity clothes for some shorts. WOW! The sheer size of those clothes was overwhelming. I had forgotten what L and XL maternity clothes actually look like. All of the emotions that I felt of being huge and feeling gross and ugly came flooding back into my mind. It's hard for me to look at pictures of myself and even harder to see the clothes that I used to wear (that's why I would get rid of them after each size dropped). It will be a stretch if any of those items will fit me in my third trimester, knock on wood. On the other hand, it was a nice wake up call for me, I've been feeling pudgy and like I'm gaining weight (I know, I know...it's gonna happen!!). But, for being 9 weeks along, I feel like I'm on a downward spiral. Seeing those clothes brought me back to reality....I am not big, I am not fat and I am going to be a beautiful pregnant woman. So...I still needed to find something to wear in the meantime. Should I buy larger, regular clothes or buy a few maternity items? I opted for a few maternity items. I love Kid to Kid, since I've had Gabriel, they now carry a huge selection of maternity clothes. I was able to get a couple dresses, some shirts and a pair of shorts. And guess what? They were all smalls and I will have room to grow...see, reality check!

On another note, Gabriel is having a great time watching my belly change. He talks to the baby sometimes, saying, "good-night" or "hi baby!" and loves the weekly baby updates from Babycenter.com. Yesterday he told Josh, "the baby is getting bigger, HE'S the size of a grape now!!!". So precious! I know that he's going to be an awesome big brother and helper! He loved getting to see the baby in our last ultrasound and proudly showed Nonna where the baby was in the pictures.

I think I've gotten over the initial shock and fear of this pregnancy and I'm reveling in this new season of our lives. A new body, one that is creating life - a new nursery, can't wait till we find out the sex - and of course...a new baby!!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Turning 30!

Why is it that I just can't manage to keep up with this blog? It's not like I have that much going on, LOL! So...where to begin...well, today is my 30th birthday! I woke up to my son telling me he needs to go poo-poo! LOL, hey, it could have been worse, I suppose! I feel pretty good about turning the big 3-0, I am in great health, 121 lbs, happy and feeling like my life has purpose. When I turned 25, I was overweight, 164 lbs and pregnant with Gabriel. From that point on, I feel like I kind of lost my self and my identity. Thank God for restoration and cleansing, I feel like I'm in a much better place!

So...to catch up...we've adjusted to the new house, love living here and having the space to roam and play and garden! We started our second vegetable garden this spring and it's doing great. We have been diligently praying for something that I could do completely from home and God provided last month. All from home! What a miraculous answer to prayer!

After several years of bouncing in and out of our church music ministry and not really feeling at home, I took a leap of faith in February and tried out for the vocal team. There was a lot of emotional struggle in this because of the spiritual darts the devil had been tossing at me....feelings of inadequacy etc. There is some major talent and I was convinced that I wasn't needed. To my surprise and delight, my feedback was amazing and the team was extremely supportive and encouraging. I have been scheduled to sing quite a few times, and even traveled to Cowboy Church to sing with one of our worship leaders. Last Sunday was my first time on our big stage and I was so excited to help lead our congregation! God is good!

The biggest news I have to share is our recent expectation of a Christmas Baby! I found out I was pregnant on April 28th! 18 days late and 6 negative pregnancy tests had us stumped! My doctor was telling me that I probably didn't ovulate and should begin to think about fertility meds. I was vonvinced otherwise, but was still surprised to see 2 lines that Thursday morning! To tell Josh, I purchased a sweet baby layette and stuffed the test in the tiny hat...it was wrapped in a Christmas box...I told Josh that I'd found him an early Christmas present...when he opened the package, the card read: "This present will arrive December 19th!". His reaction was priceless!! We were very excited to tell Gabriel as he's been asking for a baby brother for the better part of a year! He was beyond excited running all over the house and giggling! To our chagrin, telling a 4 year old isn't the best way to keep a secret, I've had a couple moms from his class message me to ask if I'm pregnant...he's been telling everyone that he will be a big brother!!

I had my first prenatal visit yesterday...the city switched insurance carriers and we lost all our doctors, I was very disappointed that I would lose my Ob/Gyn. Yesterday's visit was extremely stressful. Based on our calculations, we figured I was about 7 weeks along, the doctor wanted to do an ultrasound and was distressed when she could not see the baby. She feared that I was having a tubal pregnancy and ordered an emergency 3D ultrasound. I had to drive 30 minutes to Spring, anxiously awaiting the status of my pregnancy. The whole drive I was on the verge of a breakdown, but I felt the Lord, holding my hand and telling me that "Not seeing, isn't necessarily believing!". I didn't panic and I didn't make a bunch of calls, I just calmly prepared for my test. Within a few seconds, my panic turned to relief when we saw the yolk sac protecting my precious, little treasure. Turns out...we are not really 7 weeks along, but perhaps 5 1/2. Everything began to add up...why it took so long to test positive and why we couldn't see Baby on the other machine. I ovulated very late and was extremely early! Huge sigh of relief...this means my due date could potentially be Dec 26 or later! Maybe a New Year's baby??!

I sit here this morning, extremely grateful, blessed and reflective. God is great! "Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father!" James 1:17. What truth in this verse...the Lord truly gives us the best gifts and there could not be a more perfect one for my 30th birthday!

Past Post from May 5th!